If you’re having a Jewish wedding and your officiating rabbi is affiliated with the Conservative movement, he or she will most likely require that your ketubah have something called the Lieberman Clause. You’ll probably find some ketubah artists and stores offer what they call the “Conservative” text, and some offer “Conservative with Lieberman” (or “Conservative w/Lieb.”) What does it all mean, you wonder?

A Little Historical Background

The ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, was developed about 2,500 years ago as an attempt to protect women from being left without resources if their husband should die or divorce them. The traditional wording, written in Aramaic (the colloquial and legal form of Hebrew back in those days), is nothing more than a prenuptial agreement, specifying the (mostly financial) obligations of the groom toward his bride.

Largely codified in the Middle Ages, this same Aramaic wording is still in use by the Orthodox Jewish community to this day. If a couple is having a wedding officiated by an Orthodox rabbi, he will absolutely require this traditional Aramaic text in order for the wedding to be valid.

Side Note: The Problem of the Agunah, or Chained Woman

According to Jewish law, in order for a divorce to be effective, a man must grant his wife a get (a Jewish bill of divorce) of his own free will. Without a get (or a heter aguna – permission by a halachic authority based on a decision that her husband is presumed dead), a woman is not permitted to remarry, and any children she might bear with another man would be considered illegitimate. Even if she obtains a civil divorce, without a get she is “chained” to her old marriage, hence the term agunah, or “chained woman.”

This situation has led to serious consequences for women whose husbands refuse to grant their wives a get. While a man may be shunned, imprisoned, or in other ways pressured into giving his wife a get, ultimately if he decides to be stubborn about it, the woman is stuck.

The Conservative Movement’s Solution

In the 1950s the Conservative movement’s Rabbinical Assembly attempted to resolve the problem of the agunah by adding a clause to the traditional ketubah text, stipulating that divorce will be adjudicated by a modern Bet Din (rabbinic court). This clause is called “the Lieberman clause,” named after the Talmudic scholar who developed it.

Orthodox Judaism has rejected the Lieberman clause as a violation of Jewish law, but it is still very much in use by the Conservative movement, and rabbis of other streams sometimes require this clause on the ketubah as well.

The Conservative ketubah text, then, is made up of two texts: the traditional Aramaic (Orthodox) ketubah text, plus the Lieberman clause.

So what do these texts actually say? Since you may be signing a document at your wedding with this wording, you may want to know what you’re agreeing to! Here is a translation of the traditional ketubah text:

“On __________ [day of the week], the __________ day of the month __________ in the year __________ since creation of the world, the era according to which we are accustomed to reckon here in the city of __________ how __________ son of __________ said to this virgin/widow/divorcée/convert __________ daughter of __________ ‘Be thou my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel, and I will work for thee, honor, support, and maintain thee in accordance with the custom of Jewish husbands who work for their wives, honor, support, and maintain them in truth. And I will set aside for thee 200 zuz [traditional money] {for virgins}/100 zuz {for all others}, in lieu of thy virginity, which belong to thee (according to the law of Moses), and thy food, clothing, and necessaries, and live with thee in conjugal relations according to universal custom.’ And __________ this virgin/widow/divorcée/convert consented and became his wife. The dowry that she brought from her father’s house/her own house, in silver, gold, valuables, dresses and bedclothes, amounts to __________ [100 silver pieces {virgin}/50 silver pieces {all others}], and the bridegroom consented to increase this amount from his own property with the sum of __________ [100 silver pieces {virgin}/50 silver pieces {all others}], making in all __________ [200 silver pieces {virgin}/100 silver pieces {all others}]. And thus said __________ the bridegroom, ‘I take upon myself and my heirs after me the responsibility of this marriage contract, of the dowry, and of the additional sum, so that all this shall be paid from the best part of my property, real and personal, that I now possess or may hereafter acquire. All my property, even the mantle on my shoulders, shall be mortgaged for the security of the contract and of the dowry and of the addition made thereto.’ __________ the bridegroom has taken upon himself the responsibility for all the obligations of this ketubah, as is customary with other ketubot made for the daughters of Israel in accordance with the institution of our sages — may their memory be for a blessing! It is not to be regarded as an illusory obligation or as a mere symbolical delivery between __________ son of __________ the bridegroom, and __________ daughter of __________ the virgin/widow/divorcée/convert, and they have employed an instrument legally fit for the purpose to strengthen all that is stated above, and everything is valid and established.”

And here is a translation of the Lieberman clause:

“And in solemn assent to their mutual responsibilities and love, the bridegroom and bride have declared: as evidence to our desire to enable each other to live in accordance with the Jewish law of marriage throughout our lifetime, we, the bride and bridegroom, attach our signatures to this ketubah, and hereby agree to recognize the Bet Din of the Rabbinical Assembly and the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, or its duly appointed representatives, as having authority to council us in the light of Jewish tradition which requires husband and wife to give each other complete love and devotion, and to summon either party at the request of the other, in order to enable the party so requesting to live in accordance with the standards of Jewish law of marriage throughout his or her lifetime. We authorize the Bet Din to impose such terms of compensation as it may see fit for failure to respond to its summons or to carry out its decision.”

If you’re shopping for a ketubah, make sure to check with your rabbi or cantor before you make your selection! Although most Conservative rabbis will require the Conservative text (plus Lieberman clause!), every rabbi is different. One thing is for sure, though: if you get to your wedding and your rabbi decides that your ketubah is not acceptable, you won’t be able to use it! So check first, and have fun shopping!

©copyright Melissa Dinwiddie 2010

If you’re having a Jewish wedding, you’ve no doubt been shopping for a ketubah, or you will be soon. You may have already discovered that there are hundreds of text options available, and choosing the right one for you can be very confusing!

If the officiating rabbi is Orthodox, however, your choices are made quite simple, since an Orthodox rabbi will in almost all cases only accept the traditional Aramaic wording, frequently referred to as the “Orthodox text.” So what is the Orthodox ketubah text? Since it’s written in Aramaic, which you probably don’t read or speak, and few ketubot come with an English translation, the whole thing can seem very opaque! Even if you order an “Orthodox plus English” text, the English will usually be something short and poetic — not a direct translation at all!

So what does the Orthodox ketubah text say anyway?

A little historical background

Originally developed over 2,500 years ago, the ketubah started out as a prenuptial agreement, an attempt to ensure that a woman would have a means of support if her husband should die or divorce her. Although the text was mostly codified in the Middle Ages and hasn’t changed much since then, there are in fact a few minor variations around, so it’s critical that your rabbi sees the actual text that will be used on your ketubah before you purchase it. If one word is spelled differently from the way your rabbi wants it, your ketubah will be rendered un-kosher and you won’t be able to use it at your wedding! Always check with your rabbi first!

There’s nothing poetic or romantic about the traditional Aramaic ketubah text – it is, as mentioned above, quite literally a prenuptial agreement, very dry and legal. Here is a translation.

Traditional Aramaic Orthodox Ketubah Text Translation

“On __________ [day of the week], the __________ day of the month __________ in the year __________ since creation of the world, the era according to which we are accustomed to reckon here in the city of __________ how __________ son of __________ said to this virgin/widow/divorcée/convert __________ daughter of __________ ‘Be thou my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel, and I will work for thee, honor, support, and maintain thee in accordance with the custom of Jewish husbands who work for their wives, honor, support, and maintain them in truth. And I will set aside for thee 200 zuz [traditional money] {for virgins}/100 zuz {for all others}, in lieu of thy virginity, which belong to thee (according to the law of Moses), and thy food, clothing, and necessaries, and live with thee in conjugal relations according to universal custom.’ And __________ this virgin/widow/divorcée/convert consented and became his wife. The dowry that she brought from her father’s house/her own house, in silver, gold, valuables, dresses and bedclothes, amounts to __________ [100 silver pieces {virgin}/50 silver pieces {all others}], and the bridegroom consented to increase this amount from his own property with the sum of __________ [100 silver pieces {virgin}/50 silver pieces {all others}], making in all __________ [200 silver pieces {virgin}/100 silver pieces {all others}]. And thus said
__________ the bridegroom, ‘I take upon myself and my heirs after me the responsibility of this marriage contract, of the dowry, and of the additional sum, so that all this shall be paid from the best part of my property, real and personal, that I now possess or may hereafter acquire. All my property, even the mantle on my shoulders, shall be mortgaged for the security of the contract and of the dowry and of the addition made thereto.’ __________ the bridegroom has taken upon himself the responsibility for all the obligations of this ketubah, as is customary with other ketubot made for the daughters of Israel in accordance with the institution of our sages — may their memory be for a blessing! It is not to be regarded as an illusory obligation or as a mere symbolical delivery between __________ son of __________ the bridegroom, and __________ daughter of __________ the virgin/widow/divorcée/convert, and they have employed an instrument legally fit for the purpose to strengthen all that is stated above, and everything is valid and established.”

What to do with the text

The blank spaces represent places in the text that will be filled in with your personal info (this is what is usually referred to as “fill-in” or “ketubah personalization”). You’ll notice that there are some spots that have some set options. For example, the bride is referred to either as a virgin, widow, divorcée or convert. If this is the bride’s first marriage then she counts as a “virgin” (whether or not she technically is a virgin — don’t worry, nobody’s going to check! — “virgin” being the legal term for a first-time bride 2,500 years ago), and the default amount she is granted on the ketubah is 200 silver pieces: 100 from her father’s property, if he’s still living (the assumption being that the bride is coming from her father’s household to her groom’s household), or her own property if he’s deceased, and 100 from the groom’s property. This total amount now legally belongs to the bride.

If, however, the bride is not a first-time bride, the default amount is decreased to 100 silver pieces: 50 from her father’s property and 50 from the groom’s. Although this may seem quite unfair, the rabbinical reasoning behind the different amounts was that a widow or divorcée would already have money from her previous marriage, and wouldn’t need as much. (It still doesn’t account for the fact that a convert may never have been married before, however!)

(An interesting side note: although nobody knows what a zuz would be worth in today’s money, from the Passover song “Chad Gadya” it is said that 100 zuz would be enough to buy 50 goats: “My father bought for 2 zuzim chad gadya (one little goat).” Presumably 50 or 100 goats would keep a woman in good stead for some time!)

Most Orthodox rabbis will not let you alter the text, but your rabbi may permit you to add to it. This is why it’s not uncommon to find Orthodox ketubot with English wording that is unrelated to the Aramaic. This way a couple can fulfill their rabbi’s requirement for the traditional wording, but also include language that may be more personally meaningful to them. Some couples even choose to get two ketubot: one to fulfill their rabbi’s requirements — their halakhically kosher ketubah, and one to be a special, non-legal but personally meaningful contract between themselves.

Be advised, also, that an Orthodox rabbi may have very strict requirements about how the text can appear on the ketubah. For example, the text may have to be fully justified, left and right, with no ragged edges, and it may need to be in a regular shape, such as a rectangle, square or circle. This is ostensibly to prevent anyone from adding a word without your knowing, thereby changing the content and possibly rendering the ketubah invalid. (The same way you add a squiggly line after the dollar amount when you write a check, to prevent anyone from changing the dollar amount without your consent.)

In summary, always check with your rabbi before you purchase your ketubah, especially if he’s Orthodox!

Have fun ketubah shopping!

©copyright Melissa Dinwiddie 2010

If you’re shopping for a ketubah you may have some questions about the wide variety of texts available. Couples who want something different from the Orthodox Aramaic language have seemingly unlimited options (though you always need check with your rabbi or cantor before choosing your ketubah to make sure you’ll be able to use it at your wedding!) It can be awfully confusing!

In fact, modern ketubah texts tend to fall into three main categories: Reform/Egalitarian, Interfaith, or Same Sex. The variations on these themes are indeed limitless, so shop around to see what you like. Here is a brief explanation of what you can expect to find while ketubah text shopping:

The “Reform” or “Egalitarian” Ketubah

With the rise of Feminism and women’s rights in the 20th Century, many couples wanted a document that was more egalitarian than the traditional ketubah. Rabbis and ketubah artists started writing alternative ketubah texts that treated the wedding couple as equals, rather than as “provider” and “dependent.” In these modern, “egalitarian” ketubah texts the language is usually more romantic and poetic than dry and legal, often including phrases from the Song of Songs or other poetic sources.

Today almost all ketubah artists and ketubah stores offer texts for Jewish couples looking for this more equal kind of document. This kind of ketubah text is usually referred to as “Reform” (though usually not directly affiliated with the Reform movement) or “Egalitarian.” Most “egalitarian” ketubah texts still retain some of the flavor of the traditional ketubah wording, however, at least in the opening section, often including some variation of the following:

“On the ___ day of the week, the ___ day of the month of ___ in the year ___, [corresponding to {civil date}] in {city, state, country}, the groom ____ and the bride _____ …”

Usually an egalitarian ketubah text also includes some reference to Jewish law or tradition, often phrased in a manner such as “according to the laws and traditions of Moses and the Jewish people.” These egalitarian variations on the ketubah tend, therefore, to be a blend of traditional style, with a modern mindset.

Frequently an egalitarian ketubah contains both English and Hebrew (usually modern Hebrew rather than Biblical Hebrew or Aramaic), though some ketubah artists offer Hebrew-only or English-only versions.

The “Interfaith” Ketubah

For generations the larger Jewish community has commented on the propensity of Jews to marry “out of the faith.” Although it can be challenging for interfaith couples to find a rabbi who is willing to officiate, many ketubah artists embrace and honor interfaith partnerships, and have written texts specifically for interfaith couples.

Since halakha (traditional Jewish law) does not recognize interfaith marriages, an interfaith ketubah can technically say anything at all. However, as with egalitarian ketubot, interfaith ketubah texts tend to retain some of the stylistic flavor of the original language, and frequently open with the same standard formula as above (or some variation thereof). The main difference is that with an interfaith ketubah, one partner is not Jewish, and therefore technically not a follower of the “laws of Moses and Israel,” so language that specifically references “Jewishness” is normally not included. References to Torah are usually left out as well. Other than this, an interfaith ketubah can say anything, as long as the officiating rabbi or cantor (if there is one) personally permits it. (Again, always check first!) If the officiant is not a rabbi or cantor then the only limitations on the ketubah wording are the couple’s personal preferences.

As with egalitarian ketubot, an interfaith ketubah may be in English and Hebrew (usually modern Hebrew), or it may be English- or Hebrew-only.

The Same Sex Ketubah/Lesbian Ketubah/Gay Ketubah

There has been a trend among progressive Jewish movements in the past few decades toward accepting and honoring unions between same-sex couples. Many ketubah artists now offer texts written specifically for gay and lesbian couples. As with interfaith couples, since these unions are not recognized by halakha, there are no “legal” restrictions on the wording allowed. As long as the officiating rabbi accepts the wording (or if the officiant is not a rabbi or cantor), anything goes! Same sex ketubah wording tends to retain the traditional flavor of the original Aramaic, and may be almost identical to interfaith ketubah wording, but will refer to the couple as “equal partners,” or “beloveds,” rather than “bride and groom.”

An interesting note: while in English a same sex text may be entirely gender neutral, Hebrew is a gendered language, which makes a genuinely gender-neutral text impossible. As a result, same sex ketubah texts in Hebrew are always either gendered female or male. And since male is the “default” in Hebrew, as in most gendered languages, a male same sex text may in some cases actually be appropriate for heterosexual couples as well.

Other Categories: Anniversary and Custom Texts

Two other categories that haven’t been mentioned are anniversary ketubah texts and custom ketubah texts.

Some couples never had a ketubah at their wedding, and choose to get an anniversary ketubah sometime later. Since an anniversary ketubah is not a legal document under Jewish law, again, there are no requirements a couple has to follow (unless a rabbi is officiating at a ceremony, in which case always check with him or her first!) Not all ketubah artists offer anniversary texts, but an egalitarian or interfaith ketubah text can often work perfectly well.

Whether for a wedding or anniversary, the final option is to write your own custom wording. Writing your own ketubah text allows you to include personal promises you won’t find in a publically available text (such as “we promise to provide each other love, hugs, and snuggling”). It can also be an incredibly bonding and learning experience to work together on your ketubah text!

If you choose to write your own text and you borrow wording from another author, make sure to obtain copyright permission to use their text! And be sure to give a draft to your rabbi or cantor to make sure it passes muster and you’ll be able to use it at the wedding.

Whatever kind of ketubah text you choose, enjoy the search. And mazel tov!

©copyright Melissa Dinwiddie 2010

The Beginnings of the Ketubah

Sometime over 2,500 years ago the rabbis in charge of Jewish law decided that married women needed some way to count on a livelihood in case of divorce or widowhood. The ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, was developed as just such a protection, and persists today as a long-standing Jewish wedding custom.

Written in Aramaic (the colloquial and legal form of Hebrew at the time the ketubah was developed) and signed by two witnesses prior to the wedding, a traditional ketubah outlines the groom’s obligations to his bride, and specifies a certain amount of property that the groom brings the marriage, along with an equal amount of property from the bride’s family, that now belongs to the bride. From the Talmud we learn that the intention of this document was to make it “more difficult” for a man to “put aside” his wife, and to ensure that if he did leave her she would have resources to survive.

Judaism has a precept known as hiddur mitzvah (lit. “beautification of the commandment”) that says that if an object is required for ritual purposes it is a good thing to make it as beautiful as possible. As a result, it became customary for the ketubah (which is at its core not a romantic document at all, but a a dry, legal document — a prenuptial agreement) to be decorated as a work of art. Illuminated ketubot have been found from as early as 1100 C.E.

Modern Developments

As Judaism evolved in the 19th, 20th and 21st Centuries, and movements of modern Jews dispensed with halakha (Jewish law), the ketubah was one tradition that carried on, though in greatly modified form. Orthodox Jews still use the traditional Aramaic prenuptial agreement wording, which was largely codified in the Middle Ages, but modern variations have been developed by modern streams of Judaism, as well as adapted for use by interfaith, same sex, and even non-Jewish couples.

The Reform movement in Judaism eliminated many Jewish traditions, and some Reform rabbis dispensed with the ketubah altogether. But the idea of a wedding document that’s also a beautiful work of art holds enormous appeal, and after some decades of falling out of favor the ketubah has made an enormous comeback, starting slowly in the 70s, and veritably exploding in the 2000s! In fact, the ketubah is now so popular that it enjoys almost universal use by Jews of all stripes — from the most traditional Jews, to Reform, secular Humanist, and unaffiliated Jews — along with couples historically shut out from Jewish traditions. It’s now an easy matter for any couple to find an interfaith ketubah, a same sex ketubah, or even a gentile ketubah!

Whether traditional or modern, the ketubah remains one of the most beloved elements of a Jewish wedding ceremony.

©copyright Melissa Dinwiddie 2010