In which the author questions whether her own attachments are, in fact, as cultlike as others’

About six weeks ago the BF announced that, as an experiment, he wanted to spend the month of January eating “Paleo,” or “Primal.” As described on MarksDailyApple.com, this involves deriving something like 50% of your calories from animal fat, plus avoiding all grains (among other things).

Hence followed what my mother would term a “conniption fit,” as I, having spent the better part of two decades eating mostly vegetarian and extremely low-fat (in fact, completely vegetarian for at least half of that time, and vegan for about six months), basically lost it.

“You’re going to have a heart attack!” I yelped, practically rabid. Thankfully, the BF is of stolid and mostly placid stock, and my outburst didn’t rustle his feathers (much). He just kept insisting that I look at the websites that had inspired him to try this crazy experiment. Whereas I just kept retorting that those websites were all commercial, with a financial incentive to convince him of their ideas! Not exactly sources I’d trust my (and his) precious health with!

Oh, I was in a raging huff.

After at least 45 minutes of tantrum, I got off my high horse long enough to plunk down in front of my computer, and, brow deeply furrowed in disgust, I searched for some sources I could trust.

Lo and behold, it didn’t take long to find some sources – good, old, dry, boring, medicalese sources – that showed, quite convincingly, that all the data around dietary fat causing disease is, in fact, very sketchy.

Skreee! (Sound of screeching car brakes and hastily executed U-turn.)

Suddenly, my 17-year conviction that my diet was the best, healthiest diet possible, a conviction that informed a significant chunk of my daily life choices and behavior, was on shaky ground indeed.

I won’t go into the details of the research that ensued. Suffice it to say that I had a major paradigm shift, and realized that, after nearly two decades of (mostly) rigidly following a certain set of rules, perhaps I had (ahem) made a mistake. Not only did I give the BF my (still rather hesitant) blessing, but I decided to join him in this eating adventure.

It’s been over six weeks since we started the experiment, and the results have been surprising, and almost 100% positive. I can share details later. What interests me here is that this radical change, this paradigm shift, made me realize I had been living my life according to a belief system that I didn’t even realize was a belief system! No, I thought I had access to The Truth, and that anyone who ate a different sort of diet was just sadly misinformed. Although I wasn’t (that) much of an evangelist, I was a True Believer of the most irritating sort, and I didn’t even know it!

As it happens, the BF was also a True Believer, also for 17 years (how’s that for random coincidences?), but in his case the belief system was not diet, but the beliefs of the particular Christian cult of which he was a member. He evangelized door-to-door, and like me, thought he had access to The Truth. Eventually his faith began to crack (I like to say his mind kicked in…), and after a painful internal struggle of some years he had his own paradigm shift, which was similar in some ways to mine: he came to the conclusion that perhaps he had (ahem) just made a mistake.

It’s incredibly liberating to let go of a belief system. Embarrassing to admit to a mistake, yes, but liberating to discover the choices suddenly available to you! In the BF’s case, his paradigm shift was followed by an intense period of “rebellious” activity that he’s still not quite through with. In my case, I’ve re-discovered the joys of such things as cheese! And butter! And as many nuts as I want!

I could wax on for days about the experience of eating almost 180 degrees from what I was used to, and how it has affected me (for one thing, I’m leaner than I’ve ever been.) The most fascinating part, though, is realizing that, like the BF, I was essentially the member of a cult. That the cult was one of food, rather than religion, is significant only in the degree of change and restriction it imposed on my life. I was blinded by my belief system, just as he was by his, and letting it go was painful, but ultimately liberating.

Now the open question is, how many other belief systems are hemming in my life? How many are hemming in yours? Food for thought, indeed.

–

To read more fascinating essays on belief systems, see one of my favorite blogs, Belief Systems & Other BS.

What a treat – I just got back from a long-delayed and many-times-postponed coffee date with Susie Lubell of Mishmish Studio. Susie (aka Mishmish) is a talented artist of whimsical watercolors, children’s prints, and ketubot, who happens to live about a mile away from me! When I discovered her website I introduced myself via email, and though it has taken a few weeks, we finally managed to meet in person.

And I am so glad we did! It was great to be able to “talk shop” with another artist who’s making a go of hawking her wares online. We face many of the same challenges and frustrations, so there was, of course, the requisite bitch-fest about same. But lots of ideas for collaboration, and just life stories as well.

I can’t tell you how great it is to meet a cool new person who really gets what I do! We’re planning regular get-togethers from now on, which I’m very much looking forward to.

It was a nice way to start my Tuesday, before heading out to look for part-time work to supplement my income. Yes, I’m afraid it’s come to that. I haven’t been an employee for 20 years, but “the economy” has hit me hard. I spent way too much last year on marketing that didn’t pay off, and now I’m paying for it.

So off I go to temp agencies to see what’s available. I don’t even know how to write a resume or do an interview, it’s been so long, but I guess I’ll learn! There are so many things I can do: write, proofread, edit, design work, teach, train… And running my business for 14+ years must count for something.

And the lovely thing about temp work: it’s temporary! If I’m doing something I can’t stand, I won’t have to do it forever.

Meanwhile, I’ve been antsy to stretch my wings for awhile now. Maybe this will ultimately lead to something really cool.

BTW, in case you’re wondering, no, I’m not shutting my business down  — no fear of that! I just need some extra income right now to make ends meet. But I may slow down the mad rush to grow, spend time only on orders that are coming in, perhaps stop accepting rush jobs. I’m not really sure how it will pan out. It’s a big adventure, and I’ll see what happens…

Wish me luck!

~Melissa

Ever wondered what’s involved in making a CD of original music? I just recorded and self-produced my first “official” release, Online Dating Blues, and here’s a glimpse inside the process.

Part Four: Support from Unexpected Corners, and Finally In the Studio!

I’d done my homework: thanks to suggestions from friends I’d met at Music Strategies, the email I sent to my fan base included links to a web page tricked out with PayPal buttons for donations and pre-orders. I have a modicum of html skills, and thankfully PayPal makes it super-easy to make a “buy now” button, even for a non-techie. I also offered people the option of sending a check, calling me up with a credit card, or giving cash if they preferred (which turned out to be very wise), but I wanted to make it as easy as possible for people to donate on impulse!

Would people contribute? My guitar teacher, Carol McComb, had raised an unbelievable amount for her CD 10 or so years back, but I think her list of (incredibly loyal) students was a lot bigger than my list of fans (about 500 strong), and being a performer with an erratic (to put it mildly) gig schedule, rather than a performer and teacher with multiple ongoing weekly classes, meant that I didn’t have quite the loyal following that she did. (But then again, with a budget of about one-twentieth of her last CD’s, I didn’t need to raise as much either.) Still, there was a fair amount of fingernail biting. $2,000-2,500 isn’t enough to bankrupt anyone, but without outside contributions it would certainly be going to debt…

And then there’s The Economy… I knew I wasn’t the only one with a lot less disposable income to play around with these days.. Was my whole idea just completely crazy?

Then lo-and-behold, 52 minutes after sending my email my first contribution rolled in, for 100$! Talk about validation. Especially validating, and surprising, was that it was from a friend from the calligraphy and book arts world, Carol, who has never seen me perform, and whom I hadn’t seen in more years than I can count.

!

Within 24 hours, I received eight donations and pledges, to the tune of $285. Not a bad start!

******

Now that money was actually coming in, the pressure was on. This CD project was becoming more real! I was going to have to deliver a CD, and one that would, I hoped, satisfy all of my contributors! My first recording session was scheduled for December 21, and as the date drew nearer and friends left and right were catching colds, I felt as if I were holding my breath, praying that I would stay healthy. I recorded myself singing my songs and playing my guitar and uploaded these “scratch tracks” to a page on my website and sent the link to the guys in the band so they could get a (rough!) idea of what we’d be recording. I

The morning of the 21st I packed up charts of all my songs and drove an hour to my drummer John’s garage studio, Idea Room, in Concord. John spent the next hour setting up mikes and plugging in cables until the tiny space was a tangle of black cable. With a drum kit, an upright bass, an electric keyboard, music stands, mikes and various large boxes of sound equipment, I had about a 2-foot square space to stand in. The four of us were in a for a long day of very intense work, in very close quarters. And honestly, I can’t imagine much that would be more fun!

After much fussing with cables and computers on John’s part, we all had big (tight!) earphones on, through which we could hear everyone: John’s drums, Doug’s bass, Jake’s keys, and my voice. We spent a few minutes on sound checks, trying to get the mix right in the earphones, so everyone could hear themselves and each other. After all the sound checks were done I pulled out my charts and we started practicing.

We hadn’t met to rehearse, so this was the first time the guys were playing my songs. Being the consummate professionals that they are, however, they took my ideas and ran with them. Until that moment my songs had mostly lived as ideas in my head. I played them in my living room, but (inexpertly played) acoustic guitar and voice give a completely different feel than a full jazz trio! I can’t tell you what a delight it was to hear a band bring my music to life!

And the guys had fantastic ideas! It was like being in a creative stew pot, with ideas popping up like dried corn kernals in a hot pan. Over the course of our two studio sessions we worked out intros and endings, where breaks would come in the music, and what kind of groove each song should have. Doug started playing a “Killer Joe” intro to Online Dating Blues and we all said “let’s use it!”; Jake suggested a straight-8s feel for I Need A Vacation (brilliant); John used brushes to create a mystical, dreamy intro to Geary Street; Jake pumped out a Gospel feel on the keys for Married Men (a hilarious contrast to the content of the song) while Doug created a “overweight marred men in Dockers” solo.

Here’s how the day went:

• Rehearse a song, work out feel, intros, endings, solos
• Record the song
• Assess our performance, make notes of what to change, and record the song again
• Repeat as needed, until everyone was ready to move on to the next song
• Start process over with another song

I have to confess that there was no point during our 11+ hours of recording over two Saturdays when everyone was 100% happy with his or her performance! If we’d had unlimited time I suspect we’d still be working on it today (or at least until we all got completely sick of it! A certain amount of perfectionism is the curse of being an artist and wanting your work to be the best it can be). However, I did not have the budget for unlimited studio time, so (thankfully) we didn’t have that luxury. Instead, we moved on whenever we felt like the song we were working on was “good enough” for the CD. Understand that with four professional musicians, “good enough” is a difficult determination at best, and a little distance can turn something “awful” into “not bad” or even “pretty damn good – hunh!” Jake was convinced he needed to re-do his solo on one of the songs, but when we reconvened the following week and listened again, he decided it wasn’t as bad as he’d thought.

Musicians’ memories of our own performances are rarely reliable… This truism came back to haunt me in the mixing studio, but more on that next time…

–

Next: Mixing and More

The lesson for the day is BACKUP, BACKUP, BACKUP! And did I mention backup?

Seriously, as soon as you’re done reading this scintillating bit of Pullitzer-worthy writing, walk your mouse over to your own website or blog, and BACK IT UP!

I learned the hard way: Ketubahworks.com, the website from which I derive my livelihood, was completely shut down for close to a month due to a malware attack (no, nothing personal against me, just some hacker somewhere, out to wreak general havoc, and I got lucky – ha!)

On the one hand, this is historically a slow time of year for my mostly-wedding-related business, so it probably could have been worse, but on the other hand, during the slowest time of the year is when I can use all the sales I can get! So having NO WEBSITE was a real problem, to say the least.

Although I’m on a Mac (which I had thought meant I was immune to viruses, etc.), I learned in my desperate attempts to get my site back up again that 99% of all website hacks are actually Trojan horses or similar code that finds its way onto the site’s server via the owner or admin’s own computer.

!!!

So, being just a tad interested in having my livelihood back TO STAY (yes, Virginia, that is sarcasm), I invested in three different virus/spyware protection programs: MacScan, Avast! and VirusBarrier X5 by Intego. Avast!, though it received excellent reviews from what I could find online, made my system horribly boggy. Basically unusable, as a matter of fact. This was a problem. A big problem. If I’m not able to use my computer I can’t make a living. On the other hand, it found, and eliminated, 64 (sixty-four!) viruses on my system!

!!!

VirusBarrier X5 is a dream – it runs in the background, checking every file as it’s opened or closed, and has no effect on my system that I can detect. Great! But… it declared my system free of viruses before Avast! found the veritable snakepit of viruses it did. Not good!

That “all clear” report did not give me a lot of confidence in the software, but by then it was bought and paid for. (And twelve days later I received notice that the new version, VirusBarrier X6, is now available, and after already paying a hundred bucks for InternetSecurity Barrier (a bundled version of the software which also includes NetBarrier 5 and a backup software that I haven’t managed to try yet), I’m now required to pay another $50 to get the upgrade. Can you say “the universe is laughing at you”?)

Sigh… The problem is, the software that found the viruses is impossible to run while I’m using the computer, and extremely opaque and non-intuitive to boot. (When it finds a virus, you have to select it from a list of files and isolate it in the Virus Chest, but sometimes the option to do this is greyed out, and then what am I supposed to do??!!) The software that is a breeze to use and makes sense (obviously designed by Mac folk!) is not reliable!

So I’ve come up with a protocol: I run VirusBarrier X5 whenever I’m working on my computer, and when I’m ready to shut down for the day, instead of actually shutting down I quit VirusBarrier X5 and open Avast!, which I set to scan my system while I sleep. In the morning it’s invariably not through scanning my entire system, but it’s gotten through my hard disk and the only files it hasn’t made it through are Time Machine backups, which are copies of whatever’s on the hard disk, so I think I’m safe (though as soon as I type this no doubt some techie will tell me why I’m wrong….) If there are any new viruses (which there haven’t been since the snake pit was cleaned out weeks ago), I deal with them, then reboot my machine and fire up VirusBarrier X5 again.

Whew! Kind of a lot of trouble, but NOTHING compared to the trouble of having no website!

Meanwhile, I learned the hard way that another essential protocol is to BACK UP EVERYTHING! Thankfully, I had a backup of Ketubahworks, which I finally got re-installed yesterday. (I kept expecting that the sister site I’ve been working on would be done soon, so I could forward Ketubahworks to it, but that project keeps dragging on.. I seriously need a new webmaster.. Anyone know of any good webmasters?) Unfortunately, the backup was a few months old, so hours and hours and HOURS of work were lost – poof! – just like that.

And then, in the process of restoring the Ketubahworks backup, somehow KetubahDiva, my blog, this blog, disappeared! Again, I did have a backup, but it was about a month old, and several posts were lost – poof! – just like that.

In fact, this post that I’m tapping away at right now is a redo of another post that I wrote last night, relating my tale of woe and lessons learned. But that post got lost – poof! – when my webmaster somehow reinstalled the original blog, and in the process lost the replacement/backup blog that I’d installed.

Oy!

All that brilliant writing, gone.. (And believe me, it was probably the most brilliant writing I’ve ever done. Really. Award-winning material.)

Anyway, the point of all this rambling is this: get yourself some good virus/spyware protection, and establish a backup protocol, and USE IT! Seriously. It really, really, REALLY sucks to lose all your hard work, and if you’ve got a backup you can be up and running again with a helluva lot less trauma than if you have no backup.

In fact, I’m off to make yet another backup of my sites.

~Melissa

“Make something amazing that will really blow the mind of anybody who sees it.”

- Hugh MacLeod, Ignore Everybody And 39 Other Keys to Creativity

I’ve got a cold, or a mild flu (or as the BF likes to say, “Swine Headcold”), which means I’m spending a lot of time in bed, trying to sleep. And when not sleeping, reading. This afternoon it was reading Hugh MacLeod’s brilliant little book, quoted above.

I love the book. Highly recommend it. But I have a problem with the quote.

The problem is this: if you set out to make something amazing, usually what you end up with is either paralysis or mediocrity. At least that’s how it works for me.

The trick for me is to just make something. Try something. Ask the question “What if..?” and then try to find the answer.

You may work differently, which is cool. Whatever. Figure out what works for you. For me, any set-up expectation of judgment – especially when competition is involved – scares my kindergartner with her crayons (read the book if you don’t get the reference) away and puts me way too much in my head.

On the other hand, somehow I manage to create work that I’m proud of when working for a client, which is interesting, because I’m very aware that I’m being judged (and on a deadline no less!), yet I’m able to create. Why is this?

Certainly part of it has to do with what McLeod calls the split between “Money” (i.e., work you do to pay your bills) and “Sex” (i.e., work you do because you love it). When I create for a client, rather than just for myself, there’s a certain distance that always exists between me and the work. In fact, depending on the project, I may have no ego-involvement at all.

I suspect another part of it is the very fact of having an externally-imposed deadline. Deadlines are magical things; I dread them, despise them, yet they are frequently the only thing that gets me off my butt and actually doing something, and for that reason I feel an almost doe-eyed adoring gratitude to them. Deadlines also force you to allow something to be done, when in the absence of one (a deadline) you might feel compelled to tweak it a little more, a little more, a little more, in perpetuity.

Take my CD, for example, a rare instance of a self-imposed deadline that actually worked. Self-imposed deadlines, when not hooked onto some external deadline (ie “I need to get this done in time to take advantage of holiday shopping season!” or “I need to get this done in time to exhibit it/perform it/sell it at the show opening/gig/etc. on such and such date!”) are easy to not take seriously. After all, if you let it slide, who will care?

At least that’s how it works for me.

I have found that a short, specific self-imposed deadline (ie “I really want to make a brand new ketubah design today“) tends to work better than a long and/or general one (ie “I really want to add several new ketubah designs to my collection this year”), but hooking a goal to a hard deadline always works best.

So what’s the tip in all of this?

A) Set out to MAKE SOMETHING. Not something amazing that will blow people’s minds, but just something.

B) Create a deadline, and hook it to something that has weight for you.

Then get started. I also recommend allowing the something that you’re creating to have a life of its own. In other words, don’t get to invested in your finished something being identical to your initial vision. If you allow your something to evolve, you may be amazed at how, well, amazing it turns out to be!

]]> http://www.ketubahworks.com/blog/2010/01/13/ketubahdivas-creativity-tip-1/feed/ 3 http://www.ketubahworks.com/blog/2009/12/11/behind-the-scenes-of-making-an-independent-music-cd-part-3/ http://www.ketubahworks.com/blog/2009/12/11/behind-the-scenes-of-making-an-independent-music-cd-part-3/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:56:28 +0000 thediva http://www.ketubahdiva.com/?p=263

Ever wondered what’s involved in making a CD of original music? I just recorded and self-produced my first “official” release, Online Dating Blues, and here’s a glimpse inside the process.

Part Three: Scheduling the Sessions and Raising the Money

Once again I was faced with the question of how to produce the CD. I toyed for awhile with doing a live CD recording concert, reasoning that I perform best for an audience. Plus my radio show was live, and I got a handful of acceptable tracks from that, so surely I could do the same again. Also I could ask for donations in advance and at the door to help cover production costs. Finding a venue I was happy with, and actually making it happen, though, proved harder than one would think. I was blocked again, though I couldn’t say exactly why.

Weeks went by…

Margo, my voice teacher thought I should “do it right” and hire a professional producer. She’d been working with this guy for months, was impressed with the performances he was getting out of her, and I figured why not at least meet him? Though I expected working with him would be pricey. And would I encounter the same issues I had with the first producer?

All my concerns ended up moot, because somehow, although the producer in question was apparently interested in meeting me, and Margo was willing to make the hour-long drive with me to facilitate an introduction, nothing happened. Weeks went by, I didn’t follow through, and suddenly I realized holiday shopping season was right around the corner, and damnit, I wanted to get a CD made NOW! No more waiting! It didn’t have to be professionally produced (no matter what Margo said) – my home-burned radio show CD had proven that! Hell, if it was better than my radio show CD it would be a clear win, and for that all I really needed was a way to record me and my band.

A Cheaper Way to Record…

A year before I’d gotten together with a trio in my drummer’s garage studio (John Lazarus – Idea Room) to rehearse and record “just for fun.” My big goal at the time was to get a recording of my first song, He’s Just Not That Into You, to use as a soundtrack for a video I wanted to make. Now it suddenly occurred to me – DOH! – perhaps the most expedient and cost-effective way to go about this would be to record in John’s studio again. I shot off an email asking if he and his band, The Big Beat Trio, would be interested and available, and how much they’d charge.

Within a couple of days I had two five-hour recording sessions scheduled (at $30o a pop; $100 for each musician per session), and two mixing/mastering sessions with an engineer John recommended, Nick at Earhythmic Studio, who only charged $50 per song for both mixing and mastering. (To give you an idea of what a deal this was, $100-200 per song is not uncommon for mastering alone, and mixing is way more involved…) Great! It may not be Capitol Records, but given my time and budget constraints (did I mention I was broke?), I managed to let my inner perfectionist take a breather and remember my goal to just make this CD better than the last one. Not an impossible task, which also had the added benefit of making a future CD that’s even better than this one seem achievable as well. Baby steps…

Paying For It All…

Wow! Blocks busted! No more paralysis! I was moving forward! Now, how to pay for this thing.. Although I was doing this on a shoestring ($150 per song is a helluva lot better than $1,000 – see Part 1: Background – but that didn’t include the costs to replicate the actual discs), it was still going to cost more than I had on hand, especially given that this was December, the deepest, darkest depths of cash-flow darkness for my mostly wedding-related art and design business. My estimates were at least $2,000-2,500.

I had met artists at Music Strategies who had raised CD production money from their fan base, and knew of still others who’d done the same. Earlier this year I randomly sat next to my guitar teacher, Carol McComb, on a flight. I spent the entire time picking her brain about her phenomenally successful fundraising campaign, which brought in something like $40,000 from students, friends and fans. !!!

Carol sent me a copy of her fundraising letter, from the days before everyone used email and paypal. Ah, technology! No stamp-sticking for me: as soon as I’d scheduled the recording sessions I composed an email to my fanbase, using Carol’s letter as a skeleton, asking for their support and offering certain “premiums” for different levels of support. (I had a lot of fun with this: since my songs are mostly themed around the trials and tribulations of dating, I offered different kinds of  [totally platonic!] dates with me for each of the $100-and-above levels. I wasn’t sure how this would come across, but the comments were all positive – as I’d hoped, people got a good chuckle out of it.) I accepted pre-orders for $10, and here are the “Executive Producer” contribution levels I offered:

Executive Producer Levels:

$25 – Web Executive Producer
Your name on my website and 2 copies of the CD

$50 – Web&Print Executive Producer
Your name on my website AND in the liner notes, and 3 copies of the CD

$100 – “Coffee Date” Executive Producer
Your name on my website AND in the liner notes, 4 copies of the CD, and a coffee date with me!

$250 – “Lunch Date” Executive Producer
Your name on my website AND in the liner notes, 6 copies of the CD, and a lunch date with me!

$500 – “Drinks Date” Executive Producer
Your name on my website AND in the liner notes, 8 copies of the CD, and a date for drinks with me!

$1000 – “Dinner Date” Executive Producer
Your name on my website AND in the liner notes, 10 copies of the CD, and a date for dinner with me!

I sent the email off and waited to see what would happen…

–

Next: Support from Unexpected Corners, and Finally In the Studio!

Ever wondered what’s involved in making a CD of original music? I just recorded and self-produced my first “official” release, Online Dating Blues, and here’s a glimpse inside the process.

Part Two: A Free CD, and Busting Perfectionist Blocks

After my disappointing appointment with the cigarette-smoking producer, suddenly I was saved from researching expensive CD production ideas, at least temporarily, when a promoter I knew hooked me up with a live concert gig on KZSU Stanford radio. It was college radio, with old equipment and somewhat limited production values, but hey, there was a sound engineer, and the gig would be recorded, so voilá, I’d have a CD of me and my band! Nothing fancy, no after-the-session mixing and mastering because it would be recorded as one track, but hell, it would be something.

The fact that the gig was LIVE on air (with a radio audience of maybe two people for all I knew [in addition to the four or five in the studio audience], but still…) led to a serious case of nerves (can you say “shaky breath support”? can you say “pitchiness”?), but when all was said and done I came home with twelve tracks, five of which made me cringe minimally enough that I felt not too uncomfortable about turning them into CDs to at least have as samplers. (Can you say “perfectionist”?) When, on a whim, I offered them for sale at a gig, and - gasp! – people started buying them, and liking them, something clicked for me.

A Realization All Perfectionist Artists Might Benefit From

I realized (and this may seem obvious) that being “perfect,” or at least better than I am right now, or “as good as [insert successful music artist]” is not what it’s about. People liked those CDs because they are authentic expression of who I was in that particular moment. Who knows, maybe the moments that make me cringe (when my pitch wavers, or my voice blips or wobbles) make some listeners actually like my singing better, because it’s so clearly not canned. No auto-tuning here, baby! This is the real thing!

Time for a New Addition to the Catalogue

For two years this home-burned disc (which I titled “Melissa Dinwiddie Live from KZSU“), packaged simply in a paper sleeve, was the only CD I had. My voice was evolving, I was beginning to write my own songs, rather than just singing standards, and it was becoming more and more bothersome that my only CD, much as I liked it (especially after several weeks’ distance!) was no longer representative of who I was now as an artist. It really hit home when I started singing my first song, He’s Just Not That Into You, at gigs. Inevitably, people would come up afterwards asking to buy the CD… and I had to tell them there wasn’t one. Ouch! I could hear the lost sale, the “kaching” that never was. Oh, the pain! I added another original song, and another, which led to more “can I buy the CD?” responses, and pretty soon it was clear I needed to get these songs recorded and catch those listeners before they got away!

Music Strategies

Let me take a moment to rave about a music marketing seminar I’ve attended (twice), because it played a great part in my getting this CD made. Music Strategies is put on by independent music marketing guru, Tim Sweeney, to give independent music artists the tools to make a living from their music without being dependent on a label, or anyone else for that matter. In addition to giving the lowdown on the industry and how it works, Tim teaches you to think outside the box, to be creative about how you market yourself, and to work together with other artists. (In my other business, as a ketubah artist selling art and stationery for weddings, competition is fierce because couples, after all, only buy one ketubah and one set of wedding stationery. One of Tim’s signature speeches is that as music artists, we have no competition; nobody buys one CD, or listens to only one artist, in their lifetime!) I have learned a ton at Music Strategies and from Tim, though I haven’t been diligent about putting it all into practice yet (can you say “overwhelm”?)

Among other things, Music Strategies freed me from the idea that a CD had to have ten or twelve tracks. Tim is a big proponent of artists producing a new CD every six months, with just four, five or six tracks, if that’s what you’ve got. Get your fans used to buying from you regularly is Tim’s thinking. (Smart guy, that Tim!) With that in mind I decided to include only original material on my CD (written by me and/or the talented Angus Stocking), six tracks in total.

Now I was back to how to get the dang thing made…

—

Next: Scheduling the Sessions and Raising the Money

Ever wondered what’s involved in making a CD of original music? I just recorded and self-produced my first “official” release, Online Dating Blues, and here’s a glimpse inside the process.

Part 1: Background

I’ve been singing jazz since 2005, gigging since 2006, and everyone knows the currency of the music world is recorded songs. Having a CD – and ultimately a catalogue of CDs – along with the downloadable mp3s thereof, is essential to develop an audience. Although CDs are becoming less important in the world of downloads, ipods and music-by-subscription (Rhapsody, et al), it’s still useful to have physical “product” to sell at gigs, give out to potential venues, etc. Perhaps in the not-too-distant future CDs will go the way of the woolly mammoth, but for now they still have their place in the indie music artist’s patchwork quilt of income streams.

Naturally, I’ve been wanting a CD since I started singing seriously. What music artist doesn’t have one?? Even just a demo of a few songs is a big step up from nothing – potential venues and private clients need to hear a band before determining if they want to hire them, and they’re unlikely to come to a gig. Plus the days of the homemade cassette tape are long gone. The advent of high quality home-studio recording equipment and software means that it’s now possible for indie artists to achieve professional results without the help of a major label or a rich producer. The catch is you still have to invest money (and if you’re doing it all yourself, significant amounts of time) to acquire and learn how to use the equipment! Still, small recording studios, engineers and home-based producers abound, so one doesn’t have to do it all oneself.

You do, however, have to pick from what feels like an endless array of choices…

On Blocks of the Emotional, Decision-overload, and Financial Variety

Perhaps it is this plenitude of possibilities that had me blocked for so long around making a CD. Certainly the fear of taking a permanent snapshot of my still-developing singing skills had no small part in the blockage. When improvement is clearly evident (to me, at least!) over a period of weeks or months, there’s a strong impulse to wait “until I’m better” to capture oneself for the world (I wish) to  hear. But of course, presumably, if one is working on one’s craft, one is continually improving and getting better, so at some point one has to just dive in and accept that any recording is “a snapshot of where I am at this particular moment.” It helps to assume that any given snapshot will only be one of many… but you’ve got to start with one.

Hurdling this emotional block was just the start. Once I’d decided that I had the psychic strength to intentionally create a permanent record of my imperfect self, I still had to figure out how to make it happen. I read an article recently which argued that too many choices is actually a hindrance to happiness. I’m inclined to agree. Not that I would want to live in a restricted world, but an overabundance of choices can lead to overwhelm. Which one is best? If I go with A, will I later regret not going with B? Everyone has an opinion, too, a studio “you really must use,” a producer “who’s the best,” a sound engineer… I tend to be of the “research everything to death before making a decision” variety, so the plethora of possible solutions only added to my paralysis.

The Producer Track

On the suggestion of my voice teacher I did finally make an appointment with a producer, but he wanted to use his musicians, rather than the guys I’d worked with and was comfortable playing with; wanted me to record over canned tracks, rather than live with the band (which, granted, allows for significantly greater editing control, since I could re-do my vocals as many times as necessary to get a good take without also having to get good takes from piano, bass and drums at the same time, but eliminates the in-the-moment interaction among musicians that, as a jazz singer, is part and parcel of what I endeavor to present on stage); was going to charge $1,000 per song (ouch); and (the nail in the coffin) smoked like a chimney, IN the studio, so the place reeked and I simply didn’t think I could tolerate even one hour in there, let alone the seven or eight that a recording session might require.

Plus the sample track he played for me of another vocalist he’d recently recorded did not impress. I now wonder if perhaps it hadn’t been mixed (had he said as much? I didn’t really understand the function of mixing at the time, so I don’t honestly remember, but I hope that was the case, because the whole track sounded like a karaoke session, with the vocalist in an entirely separate room from the band.. which of course, he had been, having recorded his vocals over the band’s already-recorded tracks, but the point is that it sounded that way. Not cool.)

So there went that idea. Back I was at square one.

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Next: A Free CD, and Busting Perfectionist Blocks

Most ketubot are sold online these days, though you can also find them at Judaica shops, museum stores and synagogue gift shops. It’s a good idea to put some time into searching for what you like, as there are so many artists out there, and not all of them are carried by the big online stores. Plus if you order direct from the artist in most cases you’ll get faster and better service, dealing directly with the expert, rather than through a middleman.

The ketubah is one of the few things from your wedding that will actually last beyond the day itself, so it’s not something you want to scrimp on. It will be hanging on the wall in your home for the rest of your lives together! Find a ketubah you both really love. You won’t regret it.

As you look for designs you like, here are some things to look for and think about:

1) Do you like the texts they offer?

2) Can you modify the text, or write your own text?

3) If you do write your own ketubah text, do they offer translation services?

4) Will you be able to speak directly with the artist if you have questions/concerns, or will you have to go through a middleman? (since buying a ketubah usually only happens once a lifetime, most people do have questions!)

5) Does your rabbi/cantor approve of your text choice? (Critical! you don’t want to get to the wedding and find that your rabbi won’t allow you to use your ketubah! It happens…)

6) ..and just as important, does your rabbi/cantor approve of the layout of the ketubah? (Many rabbis will not accept a text that is interlinear, or if the text block is unusually shaped. Don’t assume! Always check!)

7) Do you like the lettering/type on the ketubah? Ketubot all used to be calligraphed by hand, but nowadays more and more ketubah

Floral Wreath Ketubah

artists are using type. Just as there are more-skilled and less-skilled calligraphers, there are more-skilled and less-skilled typographers. Does the text look like it’s been pasted onto the ketubah as an “afterthought”? Or does it look well-integrated, an integral *part* of the artwork? If type, does it look like something you could have made yourself in Microsoft Word? Or does it truly look like a work of art? (For example, my typefaces are digitized from my calligraphy, so for the price of type, my clients get the feeling of calligraphy. Or for those who want it, I can still offer calligraphy.)

8) Are you happy with the size of the ketubah? Is the design you like available in different sizes? Remember to allow for the mat and frame, and add several inches to both the height and width when estimating how much space it will take up on your wall.

9) What is the printing method? Is it “lightfast”? Will the ketubah still be bright and vibrant years down the road?

10) What kind of paper is the ketubah printed on? I print my ketubot on Arches 140lb. watercolor paper, the same paper I use to make my original artworks, but some ketubot are printed on lighter weight, flimsy stock, or coated stock. If the ketubah is being filled in by hand, this is *critical*, because calligraphy ink can bleed or blob on coated or cheap papers.

Pastoral Ketubah

11) Are there additional customization options available? (Many of my ketubah designs have the option of incorporating your names, wedding date, or even photos into the artwork, and there are other artists offering the same.)

12) Will you get to see a proof before the ketubah is personalized and shipped? This is your opportunity to make sure that everything is the way you expect – names spelled correctly, all t’s crossed and i’s dotted.

13) When will the ketubah arrive? Ideally you want it to arrive in plenty of time, so that if anything goes wrong you’ll have time to get another one! (It happens…)

14) How will the ketubah arrive? Most ketubot are shipped rolled in a tube, and you’ll have to flatten it out when you get it, which can take several days. Some artists offer the option of flat shipping, or even matting. (I offer what I can a “Wedding Ready Upgrade”: with the basic upgrade the ketubah comes backed with acid-free fome core, encased in a crystal clear archival sleeve, and includes a signing pen; with the deluxe upgrade the ketubah is also matted, so all you need after the wedding is moulding and glazing.)

15) Are there other custom options? For example, can you change colors, shapes, sizes?

16) What kind of guarantee does the store/artist offer if something goes wrong?

17) What other options are available? The ketubah is such a central part of the ceremony, many of my clients use the design as a visual theme for the wedding, and order coordinating invitations, stationery (place cards, program covers, table tent cards, etc.) and chuppah.

18) After asking all these questions, do you really love the ketubah you found? If so, mazel tov! Check it off your list!

I hope this is helpful! Please email with any questions.

What is a ketubah?

A ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract, and is a traditional part of every Jewish wedding ceremony. In its most traditional form, the ketubah is a legal document, written in Aramaic (the colloquial version of Hebrew, and the language that Jesus would have spoken; Hebrew being the language reserved for the priestly class), and signed by two witnesses to attest that the groom “acquired” the bride and agreed to support her. It is not a contract between the bride and groom, but is actually given to the bride as her “proof” and guarantee of her rights in the marriage. Although this may seem sexist now, for its time it was considered quite an advance for the rights of women, because it protected wives from being left penniless should their husbands die or decide to divorce them.

Nowadays, although the Orthodox community still uses the same Aramaic text (or very close variations thereof) that was originally

Arts and Crafts Roses Ketubah

used over two thousand years ago, many couples choose to use more progressive, poetic texts. Ultimately the choice of text is determined by whomever is officiating at the ceremony: an Orthodox rabbi will require the traditional Aramaic text (though he may allow additional text), but rabbis of other streams of Judaism may be more flexible about text choice, or they may have different requirements.

The Lieberman Clause: the Ketubah and Divorce

Conservative rabbis will usually require that the ketubah includes a clause called the Lieberman Clause. If you order a ketubah with the “Conservative Text,” or “Conservative with Lieberman Clause,” or “Conservative + Lieberman,” your ketubah will come with the traditional Aramaic wording, PLUS this additional clause, which was written in the 1950s and named after Talmudic scholar Saul Lieberman. The Lieberman Clause basically says that if the couple ever gets a civil divorce and the husband refuses to give the wife a get (a Jewish writ of divorce), both husband and wife are to appear before a Bet Din (rabbinic court), which could (and usually would) order the man to give his wife a get.

The Lieberman Clause was developed by the Conservative Movement as an attempt to solve the problem of agunot, (literally ”chained women”), whose husbands refuse to give them a get. Without a get, a Jewish woman is forbidden from remarrying.

Check with your officiant about the text!

Tree of Life Ketubah

In my many years of making ketubot, I have encountered a wide variety of requirements and proscriptions for ketubah texts, not always in keeping with my expectations! For this reason, I always strongly encourage my clients to check with their officiant before ordering the ketubah! Most Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal and unaffiliated rabbis are very flexible about the ketubah texts they will allow… but not always. I’ve had Reform rabbis who required the traditional Aramaic text, and at the other end of the spectrum I had an interfaith couple whose Reform rabbi who would not allow any Hebrew at all on the ketubah. Although it hasn’t happened with my clients, because I pretty much insist they check with their rabbi first, I’ve heard horror stories of couples not being allowed to use their beautiful ketubah at the wedding, because the rabbi was uncomfortable with the wording, or even with the layout of the text. Nobody wants this kind of surprise at their wedding, so always check first! Since I create a proof of every personalized ketubah before I print it, my clients have an opportunity to show the ketubah to their rabbi before it has even been created, and any changes or corrections are easily made well in advance, so that everything is perfect at the wedding.

How is the ketubah used during the wedding?

The ketubah is usually signed at a separate ceremony right before the chuppah ceremony. Typically this ceremony is attended only

Soul's Delight Ketubah-opal

by immediate family and close friends, or even just the couple, rabbi, and witnesses. Traditionally the witnesses must be adult Jewish males, unrelated by blood to either the bride or the groom. Some couples have additional witnesses – for example, more progressive couples may have two women witnesses in addition to two men, to adhere to halakha while also being more egalitarian. Again, check with your rabbi, as s/he is the final arbiter of what is allowed at your wedding.

Under the Chuppah and Afterwards

The ketubah is commonly (though not always) read underneath the chuppah by the rabbi, as part of the wedding ceremony. It is frequently a beautiful work of art, and a centerpiece of the wedding, held up for all the guests to see, and then displayed on an easel or table during the reception. Many of my clients choose to theme their entire wedding around their ketubah, with a matching chuppah (wedding canopy), invitations, program covers, place cards, menus and thank you cards.

After the wedding, the ketubah is usually framed and hung in a prominent place in the couple’s home. One of the few things from your wedding that actually endures beyond the day itself, it is a lasting reminder of your love and commitment, and of your special day.

The Baal Shem Tov said that if a couple had a fight, they should read the ketubah out loud to each other, to help them remember their wedding day, when they joined together as a couple, surrounded by love and the good wishes of their friends and family.

Can non-Jewish couples have a ketubah?

I’m frequently asked by non-Jewish couples if they can have a ketubah, and the answer is YES, absolutely! My most popular ketubah texts are for interfaith couples, but I also create ketubot (or ketubah-like-documents) for couples from all backgrounds. The Quaker wedding certificate format, in which everyone at the wedding signs as a witness, is very popular (whether or not the couple, or the ceremony, is actually Quaker; some Jewish and interfaith couples choose to use this format as well), and some couples choose to have their wedding vows memorialized as a work of fine art. Others compose a special text, separate from their vows, to use on their certificate/ketubah-like-document. And still others use marriage license-like wording. As with Jewish ketubot, anything goes, as long as your officiant gives you the go-ahead!

I hope this is helpful! Please email with any questions.

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Also see: 18 Things to Think About When Shopping For a Ketubah